News Caster: Citizens of America, nuclear holocaust has become, as of a few hours ago, a distinct and looming threat to our nation
IRS Agent Rookie: Wow, wouldn't it be just horrible if America was leveled almost completely in a huge nuclear blast, killing hundreds of thousands even millions and reducing us to a nearly primitive state.
IRS Management: You better get out your handbook, Johnson, because you obviously haven't learned all the procedure yet. I'm not worried about nuclear holocaust, and you shouldn't either. We'd still have jobs! Check page 397. Detailed is the post-majority-death contingency plan so that all the taxes still get collected if America goes totally belly up otherwise. Aren't you excited? I always wanted to test out that plan!
Rookie: Are you fucking kidding me?
Evan: Sad/funny part? This is absolutely true. If America was leveled tomorrow, the IRS would be there, and they'd be ready to take all your money, like a herd of gorillas released in a banana factory.
